Dear readers,
I am stepping in today because Phillip seems to be a bit under the weather.
By the way, don't you love that expression? Under the weather? I read it in a short story I found in the trash one time. It was a good story, even though I found it very hard to read. It took me almost three days to get through it.
You're probably thinking that I'm not a very good reader. Untrue. I am a very good reader and I have an extensive vocabulary. Perpendicular. Hubris. Cacaphony. Fluglehorn. See, I know a few words. I can use them, too. (No, I have no intention of using them here. I don't want to prove anything. I'm just sharing cool sounding words. Besides, if you think you can make an intelligent sentence using all four of those words, I would love to hear it!)
I know some other cool words, too.
Antidisestablishmentarianism
That was the longest word in the English language for a while, but I haven't been able to find any practical application for it, even though it's only around a hundred years old. Then at some point it got replaced by
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcaniconiosis
which is a great word but which I really don't have much opportunity to use because I don't have a lot of contact with the sort of people that might contract this. I practice pronouncing it, though. They say it's good for keeping the face muscles in shape. But my favorite long word is
hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian
because it means "pertaining to a very, very long word" and also because it just sounds silly.
You find a lot of fun things in the garbage. One man's trash is another man's (or spider's) treasure. See, I learned that expression from some discarded book. And Phillip has a lot of good books at home, and I've read some of those, too.
Incidentally, don't throw away books. Give them to somebody or leave them someplace where another person could find them and pick them up. One of the things I like about people is that they write so many things down. And some things are pretty cool. Other things might not be as cool to read, at least not for you. But maybe somebody else wants to read them.
So anyway, yes, I'm a good reader. So why did it take me so long to get through the story? Mostly because the pages had gotten wet and were sort of stuck together.
To tell you the truth, I wouldn't even have bothered except that I started reading the first page out of curiosity, and then I had to read the rest. I hate when that happens. In this case the story was great, though, so it was worth it.
The pages weren't easy to separate. Of course, one advantage of being a spider - and there are many - is having precision limbs that are excellent for this sort of delicate surgery.
If I could still remember the name of the story I would recommend it to you. Sorry. My suggestion is that you read a lot of short stories. I'm sure you'll come across this story, and surely the expression, sooner or later. And if you don't, well, at least you'll improve your reading skills, like I did. And you learn vocabulary, which is always a pleasure.
Oh, before I forget, I have to give a special mention to Phillip today. He got me a touch screen which is the perfect size for me. If it weren't for his great idea, we wouldn't have even been able to write today. So you guys can thank him for that. As for the writing, well, it requires some dancing around, but once I get all eight legs going I can type pretty fast. And it's great exercise.
Well, thanks for visiting and I appreciate your interest in my story. I find you people very interesting, too. Feel free to write me if you get a chance.
Have a nice week,
Marvin A. Spyder
"Phillip, how are you feeling?"
"Miserable. And please don't call me Phillip."
"Okay. Phil. Anything else besides miserable?"
"How else do you want me to feel?"
"Well certainly not miserable. But at least healthy."
"I don't feel that either."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Just give me a couple of days."
"I feel sort of helpless."
"I'll be fine. Sorry I couldn't work today. Did you get the chapter finished?"
"Yes. I just finished it now."
"Did you write the part about the visit with Fred?"
"No. Was I supposed to?"
"It was the next part of the story."
"But I thought you could write that next week. You write so much better than me."
"I don't. Not really. But thanks for the compliment. So what did you write about?"
"I wrote about reading."
"That sounds...um..."
"Interesting? Fun? Exciting? Entertaining? Enjoyable? Riveting?"
"I don't know. Maybe. I guess I'll have to read it."
"Well, I hope you'll like it."
"Do you think other people will like it?"
"Gee, I hope so."
"No picture today?"
"I can't draw."
"And did you remember to close to screen?"
"Oops."
"...."
"...."
"How much of our conversation got printed?"
"Not much."
"...."
"...."
"So now have you closed it?"
"Oops. Sorry. Now."
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