"Excuse me, Phil?"
"Yes."
"Before you get started, I was wondering..."
I have started, Marvin."
"Oh, poo. I thought I could catch you before you dove into it."
"Well I wouldn't say 'dove into' exactly, but yes, I've already started typing."
"So I didn't interrupt much? How far have you gotten?"
"Seven words."
"Oh, now I'm really sorry. I completely interrupted your flow."
"It's fine."
"So can I ask you a question?"
"I'm waiting patiently."
"How are you getting along with the writing?"
"I already told you. Seven words."
"No, I mean in general. Are you enjoying it?"
"I'm enjoying it."
"Don't look at me like that. It's not like you had gotten very far along."
"Marvin, is this conversation supposed to be going somewhere?"
"How do I know? You're the one writing."
"Not right now, I'm not."
"..."
"..."
"Okay then. So I guess I'll go get into some trouble."
"Enjoy. I'll be done in a while."
(Sorry, Readers. Let's just start over.)
The telephone rang. Phil, who was lying on the sofa, reached behind him to the end table and picked up.
"Hello. Phil's residence. Phil speaking."
"So now you're back to saying that again when you pick up?"
"Hello, Jill." Phil replied, a bit sheepishly. "Yes. I happen to like it. I only stopped using it because we were living together."
"And you started saying 'Phil and Jill's Residence' instead. That was fun for a while."
"Actually, I'm surprised you called."
"Why? I told you I would, when I was ready." A short silence followed, but just as Phil was starting to feel uncomfortable, Jill spoke again. "I was just calling to see if you were any better."
"Better than what?"
"Better than the last time I saw you."
"What was wrong with me?"
"You were a bit distraught."
"Oh, I'm fine. And thank you for making breakfast. I don't remember if I said so."
"Neither do I. And I wasn't referring to breakfast. I mean before that. The whole night before that. You weren't well. You were a nervous wreck." Jill sighed. "I just wanted to see if you were back on track."
"I assure you I'm fine."
Jill swallowed hard. This wasn't going to be easy. "So how's your little friend?"
"Good." Phil was glad she had chosen to ask. "Really good, thanks. He made a beautiful web in the lamp by the door..."
"Nice."
"...and I really think you'd love it..."
"Surely."
"...and I think he's already caught a couple of flies. Last night a moth flew through it and I was certain that he was going to have to rebuild the whole thing, but he's a resourceful little fellow. He fixed it, just like with the flies. You should've seen him."
"Sorry I missed it."
"He even picked up the loose threads where the web had broken and used them to patch the hole. He had to make new thread, though. It wasn't all patchwork."
"You watched him?"
"He insisted. He was explaining the difference between the sticky threads and the other ones. I forget now what he calls them, and..."
"Phil."
"...he just started spewing out this thread and running around the edge of the tear..."
"Phil?"
"Pulling together the gap until he had some spokes crossing it. The pattern wasn't as nice as the original, but it was somehow still beautiful."
"Phil!"
"What?"
"Just stop a minute.
What have you been up to all this time? Just watching a spider spin a web?" Her voice stepped up a decibel.
"No, of course not. I have things to do, too."
"Like what sort of things?" she asked accusingly.
"I've been gardening." Phil smiled. He wondered if she could hear it in his voice.
"Have you even left the house?" Jill barked.
"Well, of course!" He was finding her tone somewhat annoying. "Where do you think the garden is, excatly?"
"I mean besides the gardening." she replied snarkily.
"Yes, I've left the house for other reasons, too," Phil snapped. "I've done shopping, and I've run errands." Phil was beginning to resent her line of questioning. "I've also been working. I've been writing some songs..."
"Songs," she spat.
"Yes, songs. I still do that." He had no intention of getting into that discussion again. "Not that I need to justify myself to you. I really don't understand why you're getting on my case. Or where any of this is coming from."
"You called me the other night. I didn't call you, remember."
"You're calling me now." She was really getting to him. "Listen, Jill,you walked out of my life years ago. You said you'd had enough. Remember? You reminded me of as much when I called you the other night."
"Phil, I just..."
"And I'm really sorry I needed you then, but I did, so I called you. And don't think that was easy for me. It took me forever just to decide to pick up the phone. And then waiting for you. And who else would I call. And now..." Phil stopped and took a deep breath, regaining control of his own volume level. "And now I'm thinking that I shouldn't have bothered you in the first place. Who knows? From the looks of things, I should've just called Fred. Except I didn't have his number. Still, it might have been a better idea all around."
The line was silent. They could hear one another's breathing. Then Jill spoke.
"Good. You're right. It's none of my business and I shouldn't have called you today. I was just worried."
That made Phil feel guilty. "You can call me," Phil answered, trying to even out his tone as he spoke. That's not a problem."
"It is if I can't talk to you like a normal person."
She was turning the tables, being the aggressive one and then the victim. Phil recognized this line of attack. But he fell right into it.
"Don't be like that. I was just feeling a little defensive about all the questions."
"All I wanted was to check in on you. I've been worried. And I really don't know what to make of that spider..." she said. Phil could hear the disdain in her voice. The slight was enough to bring Phil back to his senses.
"You know, Jill, you're probably right. I was wrong to contact you. I really thought you'd understand."
"Understand?" She raised her voice again. "How am I supposed to understand? You talk to an insect! One you tried to kill! One you are afraid of!"
"Well, I was, but now..."
"And then you cry over it when it disappears and you call me."
"And he's not an insect."
"And then you let it sit on the breakfast table."
"I was just being hospitable."
"MY breakfast table!"
"It's not your breakfast table."
"It was my breakfast. I made it."
"He likes breakfast. Besides, you used my food."
"Fine. Have it your way," Jill huffed. "But I'm telling you this is unhealthy."
"Jill, I think this conversation is unhealthy."
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
Phil had a moment of intuition.
"Are you jealous, Jill?"
A dial tone.
Phil hung up the receiver, shrugging.
"Who was that?" said a voice from the other end of the sofa.
"Jill."
"Oh. How is she?" Marvin peeked his head out from under the lamp shade.
"Irate."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. She's usually irate." Phil channel surfed, trying to forget the conversation with Jill. A title caught his eye.
"Oh. I see."
"There's a movie on tonight if you want to watch it with me."
"What is it?" Marvin dropped down form his web, landing softly on the table.
"Kingdom of the Spiders."
"Drama?"
"No. Sci-Fi. Or horror. It sort of depends how you look at it."
"Do the people kill spiders?" Marvin asked, crawling over to Phil's end.
"Yeah."
"Do they kill a lot of spiders?"
"Probably. But I imagine the spiders kill a lot of people, too." Phil changed the position of his head to give Marvin room to sit on the pillow.
"So it's a war movie?"
"Well that depends on how you look at it."
"But do the spiders all get killed at the end?"
"I really don't remember. Maybe. The good guys win, I imagine."
"The spiders?"
"No, the people." Phil winced slightly. Marvin smiled.
"I guess that depends how you look at it."
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